Our heroes gathered together and got stoned off their ass.
The screen was pulled out and cleaned with a wire,
Then they repacked the bowl and set it to fire.
The buds were dark green with hairs blonde and red,
So they inhaled it deep, took it straight to the head.
Prick dressed like Santa with red suit and hat.
"Where the fuck are you going all dressed up like that?"
"I told you last week, you ought to recall,
I'm working as Santa down at the mall."
So he exclaimed as he headed to work
"See you guys later" They said, "Fuck off, you jerk"
The heroes went out to sing Christmas songs,
But they fucked up the words and had the melodies wrong
So instead of songs of frosty, Rudolph, or Santa and his sled,
They found less appropriate songs to sing instead.
Then they went to a church for the Christmas sermon,
Passionately preached in broken English and German
He preached about God, and he preached about sin.
Then wouldn't you know it, Prick just walked in.
"Those damn whiney bastards and arrogant shits.
I just couldn't take it, I flipped out and quit!
All I could think of as I looked at each punk
Was smoking a bong and getting blind drunk."
So they went back and partied, played cards and beer pong.
For awhile things were good, everyone got along.
But soon things turned bad on this cold Xmas night
As everyone started to argue and fight.
Because when these friends drink alcohol everyone knows
Before the night's over they'll be coming to blows.
They smashed Xmas presents and knocked down the tree.
And one of them filled the egg nog with pee.
And on Xmas morning the house was a mess.
And the unhappy couple said to their hungover guests.
They screamed at the heroes, "Wake the fuck up and leave!"
And they never spoke again...
.... til the next Xmas Eve.
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